so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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