All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
