at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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