are you still at the devil's house?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
