If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
