I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
