I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
