Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
