What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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