great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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