You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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