you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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