We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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