Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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