just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
