your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
