I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
