That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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