I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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