I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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