You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
