he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
