it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just got carded by a ten year old.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
