You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
