so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
