Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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