I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
