I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we're so committed to being not committed
The adults are the big ones right?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
