eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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