I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize