that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize