Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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