We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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