when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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