its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
there is glitter all over my balls
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
