she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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