i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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