SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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