Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
