Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
