i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
