ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
