I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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