we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
