I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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