Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
