You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
