i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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