don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
time to smoke my breakfast
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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