Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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