talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
