I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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