Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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