And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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