walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize